In today's gospel Jesus confronts disciples with a question, who do you say I am?
I would like to share a story from my novitiate. It takes long twelve years of study to become a friar priest. It's in the the fourth year we enter in to novitiate. It's an year dedicated to prayer and work and at the end of this year we receive franciscan habit. As a preparation for receiving habit, we had a week retreat in a place like Gethsemani. And the preacher on the second day told, it's a day off and we will have only one session in the evening and he asked us to find who Jesus for us individually? By 7 pm we all gathered in the meeting room to share about who Jesus is for us. One of the friars stood up and he said Jesus is Immanuel, he quoted Old Testament and New Testament, quoted theologians and he proved Jesus is Immanuel. Excellent presentation, everyone clapped. Another friar stood up and he said Jesus is the savior. He explained how Jesus is Saviour, how Jesus forgives our sins how he fulfilled the Israel's waiting for the Saviour. Everyone applauded again. Then the third friar stood up and he said Jesus is a friend. He shared several people's experiences and stated that Jesus is a friend. He also got appreciation. Then we reached last friar, we all looked at him, we all had notes, books, Bible to talk about Jesus. Here a friar stands without any notes. He looked at the preacher and us and he said with a fearful voice, Jesus is the love I betray (deny) everyday. We could see tears flowing from his eyes. We felt the notes and books in our hands on fire. Nobody looked at each other for a moment. It was a deep silence for several minutes. We all answered from our head, what we learned, the informations we collected from different sources but this friar answered from his heart and from his deep thought and his personal experience.
Today Jesus is addressing us this question to us, who do you say I am? we may respond as disciples did, what we learned in the catechism, from parents, from priests. It's very easy answer. But that's not satisfying answer for Jesus.
Jesus is not looking an answer from what you learned from the bible, from the books from catechism but he is looking for an answer from your personal experience. Certainly it is important to study and to know it, but it is not enough or do not stop with that.
Pope Francis says, in order to know Jesus, “what is needed is not a study of notions but rather a life as a disciple”. We come to know him “in the daily encounter with the Lord through our victories and through our weaknesses”. It is precisely “through these encounters” that “we draw close to him and come to know him more deeply”.
Fulton J sheen said, 'if you see jesus either you will throw stones at him or you will throw yourself at his feet'
There are two types of faith, the faith we inherited from our parents, family members and friends. The second the faith we personally experienced. What we need is the faith we experienced. This faith will have more energy and enthusiasm. This faith is more in to loving Jesus and living for him.
By asking who do you say I am, Jesus is not asking for information but commitment. Jesus continues after this question, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me". This is what Jesus wants, if you love him follow him always and everywhere. I have heard many people say that when you really follow Jesus,he gives us pain and suffering. People say this when they look only for happiness and success by following Jesus. Let me put this in another way.When we have suffering why don't we hold on to his comfort? When we are humiliated why don't we look at Jesus who was humiliated on the cross? When we are wounded why don't we look at Jesus who is wounded on the cross?When we loose hope why don't we look at Jesus who is the hope for the world? When we are in sin why don't we look for Jesus who is forgiveness? When we do not have peace why don't we look for his comfort? Remember if we love Jesus, we have to follow him everywhere and always rather than looking at our benefit. “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me".
I conclude with Pope Francis' prayer, "Father, grant us a deeper knowledge of Christ, Holy Spirit explain to us this mystery of Jesus”. Let go in to deep reflection and seeking to find who Jesus is for me and to follow him everywhere and always.
Fr. John Pozhathuparambil
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